Feeling a bit down today - actually, I'm feeling down right depressed. Not in any clinical sense - ew. more of a my life is going nowhere and im useless kind of way. which is very different from actual depression right?
anyways, i heard back from the one job prospect I had in the negative. Not surprising. I was either prepared for the disappointment because a) i've gotten alot of rejectory responses from companies, programs, schools etc... b) because of said rejection i've come to expect it in a way. But it still sucks ass.
not to mention the fact that my parents are on my back to for me to get a job and figure out my entire life. I hate that. I seriously don't think I can survive here (i.e. in my parents house) much longer.
I've had my cry and my pity...
god damn i wanted that job...at least it meant something - some relief from the doubts in my mind and the doubts in my parent's minds...at least it meant i was something to some company - worthwhile, worth enough that they would hire me and give me a salary
i don't know...
upwards and onwards
L
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Give A Grad A Chance - Fruitless Search?
Hello out there!
Greetings to the outside - the so-called 'real' world - I suppose I should introduce myself since before this summer 2009 I was not a resident of the 'real' world, I was a comfy cozy citizen of the world of academia.
Let me explain, up until June 2009 I was a university student. My life a small sphere of class, study, friends and family all coalescing and interacting.
Don't they usually say hind sight is 20-20 - well hind sight also wears a pair of rose coloured glasses. I thought my life was stressed - heck what could be more stressful than essays, lab reports and exams?!
We were talking about the rest of my life here...right? All that mattered was getting the grade...right? everything after that would fall into place (check off each: high powered Career, money, Potential Husband, cars, downtown urban young professional life style...) right?
wrong.
well not quite wrong but definitely rosy-coloured misleading statements.
I did the work, suffered the stress, got the (somewhat) decent grades for four years. that was my life and I enjoyed it.
Approach June 2009 - Convocation - the end and a start of a new journey - "enter the world, prepared to make a diffence, an impact and be the change you want to see in the world" to quote the Dean (whom I had never seen in my 4 year academic life, maybe he was sitting in the back of my 1000 person biology class...) quoting Ghandi. As circuitious as it sounds it's, approximately, what every graduate hears on the last day of their careers. And I was Ready to make the difference. I wanted to enter into the 'real' world and be the change.
ok, great.
fast forward 4 months and I have one questions for good ol' dean never-seen-you-before-in-my-life...
how?
how can i be the change, how can i make the difference?
I want it all! who doesn't?
What's the first step! where do i start?
So - here I am and Here I go...
follow me, if you please, on a journey most mysterious, most scary and unknown...the thousand mile journey begins with one step - follow my steps towards my First Step.
maybe i'll answer my questions, check off a few of the dream catagories and maybe make a difference...
intelligently yours,
graduate
Greetings to the outside - the so-called 'real' world - I suppose I should introduce myself since before this summer 2009 I was not a resident of the 'real' world, I was a comfy cozy citizen of the world of academia.
Let me explain, up until June 2009 I was a university student. My life a small sphere of class, study, friends and family all coalescing and interacting.
Don't they usually say hind sight is 20-20 - well hind sight also wears a pair of rose coloured glasses. I thought my life was stressed - heck what could be more stressful than essays, lab reports and exams?!
We were talking about the rest of my life here...right? All that mattered was getting the grade...right? everything after that would fall into place (check off each: high powered Career, money, Potential Husband, cars, downtown urban young professional life style...) right?
wrong.
well not quite wrong but definitely rosy-coloured misleading statements.
I did the work, suffered the stress, got the (somewhat) decent grades for four years. that was my life and I enjoyed it.
Approach June 2009 - Convocation - the end and a start of a new journey - "enter the world, prepared to make a diffence, an impact and be the change you want to see in the world" to quote the Dean (whom I had never seen in my 4 year academic life, maybe he was sitting in the back of my 1000 person biology class...) quoting Ghandi. As circuitious as it sounds it's, approximately, what every graduate hears on the last day of their careers. And I was Ready to make the difference. I wanted to enter into the 'real' world and be the change.
ok, great.
fast forward 4 months and I have one questions for good ol' dean never-seen-you-before-in-my-life...
how?
how can i be the change, how can i make the difference?
I want it all! who doesn't?
What's the first step! where do i start?
So - here I am and Here I go...
follow me, if you please, on a journey most mysterious, most scary and unknown...the thousand mile journey begins with one step - follow my steps towards my First Step.
maybe i'll answer my questions, check off a few of the dream catagories and maybe make a difference...
intelligently yours,
graduate
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)